You got the job, the degree, the praise… so why does it still feel like you don’t deserve it?
This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome: the persistent feeling that you’re not as competent as others think you are, despite clear evidence of your abilities.
What Imposter Syndrome Can Look Like
● Attributing success to luck or timing
● Overworking to “prove” yourself
● Fear of being exposed as a “fraud”
● Difficulty accepting praise
● Comparing yourself to others constantly
If you can relate to this, you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome is very common, especially among women.
Why is this so common (especially for women)?
Many women are taught, directly or indirectly, to:
● Be humble
● Avoid taking up too much space
● Get things “just right”
● Take care of others before themselves
So when success happens, it can feel uncomfortable, or even undeserved. On top of that, if you’re in spaces where you feel like “the only” (the only woman, the only new person, the only one who feels unsure), it can amplify that sense of not belonging.
What Can Help
The key isn’t to try to force confidence or “positive thoughts.” It’s more about slowly shifting how you handle the thoughts when they show up.
Some approaches that can help:
● Name it
When feelings of doubt arise, you can try creating distance from labeling the thought: “This is imposter syndrome talking.” This can help you recognize that the thought is a pattern, not a fact.
● Let evidence matter more than feelings.
It’s important to remember that feelings are real, but they aren’t always accurate reflections of your ability. You might ask yourself: What have I actually done to get here? What would I say to someone else in this position?
Often, we’re much more objective and kinder when it’s not about ourselves.
● Reframe competence
Remind yourself that no one knows everything, and they’re not expected to. Being capable doesn’t mean being perfect—it often means being willing to learn, ask questions, and grow over time.
● Normalize growth
Feeling unsure doesn’t always mean you’re unqualified. It often means you’re growing into something new.
Discomfort is often part of learning, not a sign that you don’t belong.
● Let in positive feedback
If someone compliments your work, try to pause before dismissing it. Instead of explaining it away, experiment with simply saying: “Thank you.” Over time, this can help you internalize your strengths more fully.
● Talk about it
Shame and self-doubt often grow in silence, but shrink when shared. Sharing these thoughts with someone you trust, whether a friend, mentor, or therapist, can help put them into perspective and reduce their intensity.
Final Thoughts
Remember: You are allowed to take up space, even while you’re still figuring things out.
A lot of people are moving through life with some version of self-doubt in the background, and still showing up, still growing, still doing meaningful things.
Feeling like an imposter doesn’t mean you are one. Sometimes it just means you’re stretching into something new. And that stretching, while uncomfortable, is often exactly what growth looks like.
If these feelings resonate with you, you don’t have to work through them alone. Here at California Women’s Therapy, our psychologists offer a supportive space to explore self-doubt, build confidence, and better understand the patterns that may be holding you back.
*****
This blog was written by Ashley Griefenhagen – Intern with California Women’s Therapy.